Burger King

Ok, let us skip the part about how Burger King isn't exactly a great place to eat and just say this: It is important, as a vegetarian, to know where you can find reasonable sustenance even in less than ideal settings. And Burger King, bless its tiny beefy cooperate heart, has a veggie burger.

I don't know why the bottom bun seems to have disappeared, I am sure it was there.

And you know what else they have? A strange and possibly innovative idea called Apple Fries, which are fresh apples cut to look like french fries. With an order of Apple Fries, you can trick a kid into eating a boring hippie apple by disguising it as something fun and awesome. I was intrigued by the decadence of eating a nice supply of peeled apples and got myself an order.

This is what the Apple Fries are supposed to look like:

This is what the fresh order actually looked like, complete with caramel sauce in a ketchup packet:

My snobbery dials were turned way down. I was not being an elitist foodie and was aware of my choice in eating where I was. And still, those apple sticks tasted like total crap. How Burger King managed to take a sweet, fresh, delicious apple and process it and impregnate it with additives to the point where it tasted like a small stick of poison is a sad truth beyond me. I ate one thinking maybe I just needed to get used to the flavor, but there was a chemically bitterness in those apple sticks that I couldn't get past.

I did manage to salvage some worth from the caramel packet.